In July 2022, I found out I was pregnant with twins. My partner Luke and I were very excited. This excitement, however, soon turned into fear when I found out at my 18-week scan that my babies had twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS).
Essentially, TTTS is where one baby is a 'donor' and is very small as they provide all their nutrients to the other twin, the recipient.
I had laser surgery at 19 weeks to give the twins the best chance of surviving. The survival rate for the surgery was high – but, as with any surgery, there are associated risks.
The twins were doing well post-surgery. However, at 23 weeks, I couldn’t feel one of the twins moving. An ultrasound soon confirmed my fear: They could not find a heartbeat for one of my twin girls.
Although there was no heartbeat, I still had to carry both babies until my body was ready to go into labour. I needed to stay pregnant as long as possible to give my surviving twin the best chance possible.
At 32 weeks, I delivered my twin girls, Charlie and Cleo. Charlie weighed in at 1.51 kg, and Cleo was stillborn.
Charlie had to be taken straight to the NICU to receive breathing support. When I finally saw her, she was connected to the breathing support and CPAP machine in her humidicrib. Seeing your newborn hooked up to so many machines makes you feel absolutely helpless. You're scared to touch them, but you would do anything and give anything to help them.
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Unlike many families, my partner and I were briefed early in the pregnancy and knew we would spend time in the NICU due to the complications. Meeting other families in the NICU and seeing the heartbreak and exhaustion from what they were enduring is something I cannot put into words. Nothing can prepare you for the challenges you face while in the NICU. You do your best to support each other, but everyone is going through their own challenges and only just holding it together.
At times, it can feel like you are taking two steps forward and one step back. One day Charlie was doing well, and the next day she was in isolation and on oxygen, having developed a virus. When situations like this happen, your whole world feels like it’s crumbling around you.
Without medical equipment from the Humpty Dumpty Foundation assisting the incredible staff to do what they do, I could not imagine what families would have to endure.
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Charlie spent 46 days in total in the NICU at the Sunshine Coast University Hospital. She was diagnosed with chronic lung disease but got discharged with oxygen. After a while, you get used to the tubes on their beautiful little faces …
No amount of thank you cards, chocolates, or happy tears could show my appreciation towards all the staff in the NICU at the Sunshine Coast University Hospital and the Humpty Dumpty Foundation for providing the lifesaving equipment that brought my healthy, beautiful girl home.
Charlie is thriving now, and her cheeky little smile melts my heart every single day.
By Jackie Bond